My Old Man Resume: Item #1


That’s about the old man look I’m shooting for

It dawned on me the other day that you don’t just become old overnight. I know, quite the thunderbolt eh? Well, it wasn’t just that. I realized that you can, if you examine yourself enough, find things you do right now that will be a hallmark in your twilight years. Things that are going to mark you out as an old man or woman, those idiosyncrasies that dot your personality like a map to the old soul.

Now I’m sure everyone has a few of these but I’m going to start right at the top of the list. It’s a subject that already has friends and family alike shaking their heads with a giggle of disbelief when I tell them but I’m set in my way sand there isn’t a damn thing you whippersnappers can do about it. Of course I’m talking about;

Paying Cash At the Tolls

     Yes. You read that right. This is a man with no fast pass, E-Z pass, or whatever the transpoder device codename is for your corner of the globe. Its readily available and I drive on a toll road everyday to and from work. The fast pass was, literally, created for people like me and I hate the very idea of it.

I know it lets you get through the tolls faster. I know its cheaper. I know, overall, its probably better for the state budget that I get it so that they don’t need toll workers but guess what? They always will! There is always going to be someone who doesn’t have a transponder and has cash and the state’s going to want it. Not only that there are times when the cash lane is faster. I know that just got a bunch of eye rolls but deep down you know its true and I know you’ve SEEN’T IT because I have and I drive it every goddamn day.


      And while we are on the subject of the toll experience its nice interacting with the toll workers. That’s right. I said it. I like it. Its the same people at the same booths day in, day out, you build a rapport. Shit, I even knew Leo for a bit and when he was going to retire. I don’t care what people say, when you are in the grind and other people are there too your are brothers and sisters and just that little bond is nice to mitigate the workday angst.

     Finally, so what if I don’t have a fast pass? That technology is about to be obsolete anyway now that they are installing cameras everywhere and just billing people directly so they can pay online. That is a million times easier and hassle free so really I’m just going to keep paying cash until we get to that point because I can and I like it and I’m old.

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